


Blissful Ignorance

by daiikon



Category: Free!
Genre: Angst, Friends With Benefits, Implied/Referenced Sex, M/M, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-22
Updated: 2016-10-22
Packaged: 2018-08-23 21:51:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,952
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8344150
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/daiikon/pseuds/daiikon
Summary: Haru noticed, but he wished he never did.





	

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

No one noticed.

It was the usual tone Sousuke spoke with, sarcastic and exuburently jarring with a hint of fondness that tied together his words and sentences. His eyes, gentle and proud, congratulated his best friend with that grin of his, showing nothing more than genuine happiness for the newly formed couple standing in front of them. The rest of the guys offered their own version of dramatized congratulations, ranging from a friendly slap on the back to outright sobbing and crushing hugs that would knock the air out from anyone's lungs. Despite some minor playful jabs and teasing, it was a happy occasion. 

It should've been.

Haru watched silently as Sousuke's expression subtly softened to something else and felt annoyance creeping under his skin. 

It rubbed him the wrong way, seeing that defeated smile on the other's face. It's as if Sousuke resigned himself to the idea from the very beginning: no struggle, no fights. The inhibited feelings that were held so delicately were now carefully tucked away and buried for good, no one ever knowing the quiet loneliness that it carried. 

Haru noticed, but he wished he never did.

 

* * *

 

With all things considered, Haru shouldn't have called out to him, either. 

He was never the type to really bother with things that didn't directly affect him in any way, but his traitorous body had already moved on its own across campus and towards the other student walking down the cobbled pathway. He pursed his lips, not really sure what to say, but unable to back out now that his subconscious was apparently committed to being involved.

Sousuke had perked up at the sight of him, his usual demeanor more subdued than before but it wasn't anything noticeable unless someone was paying careful attention to it. Unfortunately for Haru, he noticed more things about Sousuke than he would've liked, small quirks and habits that he should've cared less about. 

"Let's eat," Haru added offhandedly during a small lull in their walk. Sousuke looked surprised at the sudden invitation and, quite belatedly, even Haru realized how uncharacteristic it was for him to do so. He was hoping that Sousuke would reject his offer with a half-baked excuse to leave, giving them both relief from the sudden awkwardness that hung in the air.

He waited for an answer, not expecting the light-hearted smile thrown his way. "Sure, why not? I'm pretty starving myself." 

 

* * *

 

Sousuke wasn't starving, not by any means. Not when he nibbled on the pork cutlet like he was trying to ration it for a good three weeks. 

Thankfully, the restaurant owner didn't seem to take offense to it. Haru was a steady regular since his university debut, the place providing him go-to meals and decently seasoned mackerel when he couldn't be bothered to cook at home. Considering a good chunk of his former swim team were a boisterous lot when they visited, the owner's leniency was absurdly high and would usually leave them alone. Still, it didn't stop him from shooting a worried glance at Haru's somber company.

Haru ordered sake, giving a nod of thanks when he was given the bottle. Silently, he poured them into the glasses provided and slid one to his companion. 

Sousuke snapped out of his quiet daze then, startled for a moment before he settled into a wry smile. "That obvious?"

Haru shrugged, bringing the glass to his lips. "Not really." 

Curious eyes flickered over to his face. Sousuke looked like he wanted to say something else, but doesn't. "Didn't know you could drink," he said instead. 

Haru downs the shot. "Only in bad company." 

Sousuke snorted in bemusement, ending that line of conversation. He doesn't talk much after that, and neither does Haru. They sit in each other's presence, letting the alcohol surge quietly into their bloodstream and washing out the tension strewn in taut muscles and beating hearts. It was the closest thing Haru could offer as consolation, the only comfort he was willing to give.

An hour passes. Maybe two. 

Haru is able to handle his liquor well, and he knows for a fact that Sousuke does too. With that taken into account, things should've ended right then and there. It's not until a few shots later did he realize Sousuke was buried slack in his own arms, unusually vulnerable compared to his passionate, steadfast persona that he carried with him through the years. 

Haru tried to nudge the other awake a couple times, but his efforts were met with a pained groan. Some part of him admittedly saw this coming, but it didn't make the thought of dragging Sousuke home any easier. 

Take care, the owner had offered kindly once Haru footed the bill and gathered his companion up. Haru tucked himself under Sousuke's arm and guided him out of the establishment, body pressed close to his side. 

Sousuke, through his bleary and fatigued state, managed to somehow point Haru in the right direction to his apartment complex. After struggling with the stairs and one-handedly fishing for the keys, Haru got in and made his way to the bedroom. Once there, he safely slid the other off his shoulders and onto the the mattress, sighing when he finished his good deed for the day. 

Habitually, his eyes raked over his companion once more and found his gaze suddenly caught within Sousuke's own.

Haru went rigid, mouth parting to excuse himself out. 

"...You're leaving?" Sousuke murmured softly. Haru felt something twist in his chest and he visibly grimaced. How many times had this guy been left behind to have that pathetic look on his face. "You should stay." 

"Why?" Haru pressed harshly. He wanted to hear it straight from Sousuke's mouth - wanted to hear that he was lonely and desperate for company, that he _wanted_ him by his side. "Don't tell me you're one of those emotional drunks."

Sousuke tried to laugh, but it came out as a short, heavy huff instead. "Weren't you the one who invited me out?" He countered, voice teasing.

"I was playing nice," Haru said flippantly, gaze hardened as he settled onto the edge of the bed. "There isn't any reason for me to stay." 

Sousuke chuckled lowly. "You're as cold as ever..." 

Haru tilted his head and moved, one arm slung over Sousuke's hip while his fingers twisted the sheets underneath. "What do you want from me then?" He asked, impatient. 

Sousuke smiled that knowing smile of his and closed his eyes, waiting.

Haru took the bait, agitated beyond belief as he leaned in to close the distance.

 

* * *

 

 The kiss, as he imagined, tasted bittersweet.

 

* * *

 

Classes ended relatively early today but there was no time to relax as Rin insisted on seeing everyone once more before heading off to Australia again. Everyone else was going back to their hometown for Golden Week as well, so it was a " _Golden Time as any_ " to hang out together one last time, as Rin had delicately put it. 

By the end of it they eventually said their farewells, wishing each other the best with a few words of encouragement and a playful warning not to slack off too much over the break. Rin had pretty much crushed Sousuke into a hug then, rocking them back and forth as he cooed about his long-awaited trip with his cute lover and promised to bring back souvenirs this time. Sousuke rolled his eyes but had smiled fondly, returning the hug just as affectionately.

Haru waited at the sidelines, already done exchanging his own pleasantries and wishes with the group. When Sousuke finally approached him Haru sighed, swiveling around to walk back towards his apartment. 

"My place?" Haru said placidly, his pace relatively slow.

Sousuke hummed amicably. "What, you're offering to console me again?" 

Haru clicked his tongue. "It's fine if you don't want to."

"...No, I want to." Sousuke responded after a beat. "I want you to."

A truthful lie because it doesn't have to be him, it never had to be him, but Haru obliges anyway. He gives Sousuke what he wants, gives him the warmth and contact that he craves for, peppering him with kisses that he adores and loves him in a way that isn't real. 

He likes the way Sousuke arches into his touch and keens at the scrape of teeth, shuddering each time Haru licks and bites into tough skin. Admittedly, Haru likes kissing the best, often diving a little deeper into Sousuke's mouth, curling his tongue and relishing the small sounds that escape in between breaths. The sounds turn into a gruff moan whenever Haru roughly licks the roof of his mouth, hands pressing and squeezing on all the right spots, humming softly only when Sousuke returns the favour in kind. They only pull away when they have to, and when they do, Haru would always quietly admire the flushed face and glazed eyes that look distantly at him. 

"You really love him." Haru would say, maybe to help Sousuke confront his feelings.

 (- maybe to see the flicker of hurt in his expression)

"...Yeah, I do." Sousuke would respond numbly, all before wrapping his arms around his waist and distracting him with a kiss...and then another...and another...

 

* * *

 

The image of broken teal eyes seeped annoyingly through his mind for the next few days, gnawing dully at the pit of his stomach and making him feel more restless than usual. He managed to ignore it for most part, but every time they meet it felt like Haru was getting tossed into an ocean's storm. 

"Haru," Sousuke would call his name, tender and oddly soft.

He's not sure why it made him feel so unsettled, but he's mindlessly drawn into the feeling, ignoring everything and anything that tells him to let go.

"Haruka..."

With each passing day, the waves quietly grow.

 

* * *

 

Haru interlaces their fingers at one point, intimate and comforting and perhaps a reminder that he's still there. Haru doesn't let go, even as Sousuke burrows his face in the sheets and cries silently through the night. Sousuke doesn't let go, even when he's tired, so very tired, and falls asleep with a thousand weights hanging off his heart. 

They don't let go. 

 

* * *

 

When realization hits him, it was already too late.

"You're a really nice guy, aren't you?"

Haru arched a brow, nearly snorting in disbelief considering the rough round of sex they had not even twenty minutes ago; the bruising hickey on Sousuke's shoulder and hips a crass reminder of their ransack affair. The most he did was wipe cum off the other's body with a wet towel and that didn't warrant much as he chalked it to just post-fuck etiquette. Sousuke seemed entirely amused at the statement, teasing him about being a gentlemen in bed when really, he was anything but.

"You're not making any sense," Haru rolled his eyes, nudging the other away from his side. Sousuke laughed anyways, easy and comfortable because he doesn't have to force himself to hold back when he's with him, doesn't need to mask part of his emotions away.

(He doesn't spare a lingering look in Haru's way either, doesn't find the need to, not when his eyes were still hopelessly chasing after a broken heart).

_What do you want from me then?_

Haru had asked that once, not truly knowing who he was directing that question to. By now he should've realized that he had long stopped doing this out of some kind of pretentious kindness or worthless pity. Perhaps from the very beginning, it never stemmed from that sort of feeling at all. 

"Haruka?" Sousuke called uncertainly, carding his hand through Haru's dark locks. 

Really, Haru wished he never noticed at all.


End file.
